That Awful 90s Horror Comedy That’s Actually Worth Watching
Have you ever stumbled upon a movie with a rock-bottom score on Rotten Tomatoes and thought, “Can it really be that bad?” Sometimes, the answer is a resounding yes. But every now and then, you find a gem buried under all that critical hate. A movie that’s messy, ridiculous, but just plain fun.
Today, let’s talk about one of those movies: Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood.
This 1996 horror comedy is sitting at a painful 14% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics tore it apart, and audiences were mostly confused. But I’m here to argue that this movie is a perfect example of a fantastically trashy good time that doesn’t deserve its terrible reputation.
So, What’s the Story?
The plot is as wild as you’d expect from a movie with this title. A rebellious kid goes missing, and his sister hires a wise-cracking private investigator, Rafe Guttman (played by Dennis Miller), to find him.
The trail leads to a secret funeral home that operates as a brothel run by a powerful vampire queen named Lilith (Angie Everhart). It’s a bonkers mix of a hard-boiled detective story and an over-the-top vampire flick, all held together by the ghoulish charm of the Crypt Keeper.
Why It Got All The Hate
Let’s be honest, Bordello of Blood is not a cinematic masterpiece. The story is all over the place, and the jokes don’t always land. A big reason for the chaos was the film’s famously troubled production. The script was constantly being rewritten, and the clash between the serious horror elements and the non-stop comedy left many people cold.
Dennis Miller’s performance is also a huge point of division. He essentially plays himself, delivering a constant stream of sarcastic one-liners. If you’re not a fan of his style of comedy, you will probably hate his character. But if you are… well, that’s where the fun begins.
The Case for This “Bad” Movie
So why should you give this critically-panned film a shot? Because sometimes, a movie’s flaws are what make it so entertaining.
Here’s why it’s a secret cult classic:
- It’s Pure 90s Nostalgia: This movie is a time capsule. From the cheesy special effects to the edgy humor and rock-and-roll soundtrack, it screams mid-90s. It’s the kind of movie you’d rent from Blockbuster on a Friday night, not expecting greatness but hoping for a good time.
- Dennis Miller is Unhinged: His performance is bizarre, out of place, and completely hilarious for that very reason. He acts like he wandered in from a different movie, and his refusal to take anything seriously gives the film a uniquely chaotic energy. It’s a performance you have to see to believe.
- An Awesome Villain: Angie Everhart as Lilith is fantastic. She’s a genuinely menacing and memorable vampire queen. She fully embraces the role, giving the movie a strong villain that holds the messy plot together.
The Perfect Kind of Junk Food Movie
Think of Bordello of Blood like cinematic junk food. You know it’s not a five-star meal, and it’s probably not good for you, but sometimes it’s exactly what you’re in the mood for. It’s a movie that asks you to turn off your brain, grab some popcorn, and just enjoy the ridiculous ride.
It’s not trying to be high art. It’s a Tales from the Crypt movie about a vampire brothel. It delivers exactly what it promises: gore, jokes, and over-the-top fun.
So, the next time you’re looking for a horror comedy that doesn’t take itself seriously, ignore that 14% score and give Bordello of Blood a watch. You might be surprised by how much you enjoy it.
What do you think? Is this movie an underrated gem or does it deserve its bad reputation? Share your thoughts in the comments below